Wilhelm, you would be delighted to hear
us in our rambles , and conversations about Charlotte. Nothing in the
world can be more absurd than our connection, and yet the thought of
it often moves me to tears.
He tells me sometimes of her excellent mother ; how, upon her death-bed,
she had committed her house and children to Charlotte , and had given
Charlotte herself in charge to him; how, since that time, a new spirit
had taken possession of her ; how, in care and anxiety for their welfare,
she became a real mother to them; how every moment of her time was devoted
to some labour of love in their behalf,—— and yet her mirth and cheerfulness
had never forsaken her. I walk by his side, pluck flowers by the way ,
arrange them carefully into a nosegay , then fling them into the first
stream I pass , and watch them as they float gently away. I forget whether
I told you that Albert is to remain here. He has received a government
appointment , with a very good salary; and I understand he is in high
favour at court. I have met few persons so punctual and methodical in
business.
AUGUST 12. Certainly Albert is the best fellow in the world. I had
a strange scene with him yesterday. I went to take leave of him ; for
I took it into my head to spend a few days in these mountains , from
where I now write to you. As I was walking up and down his room , my
eye fell upon his pistols. "Lend me those pistols ," said I, "for my
journey." "By all means ," he replied, "if you will take the trouble
to load them; for they only hang there for form." I took down one of
them; and he continued , "Ever since I was near suffering for my extreme
caution , I will have nothing to do with such things." I was curious
to hear the story. "I was staying ," said he , "some three months ago,
at a friend"s house in the country. I had a brace of pistols with me,
unloaded; and I slept without any anxiety. One rainy afternoon I was
sitting by myself , doing nothing, when it occurred to me I do not know
how that the house might be attacked, that we might require the pistols,
that we might in short, you know how we go on fancying , when we have
nothing better to do. I gave the pistols to the servant , to clean and
load. He was playing with the maid, and trying to frighten her , when
the pistol went off —— God knows how!—— the ramrod was in the barrel
; and it went straight through her right hand, and shattered the thumb.
I had to endure all the lamentation , and to pay the surgeon"s bill;
so, since that time, I have kept all my weapons unloaded. But , my
dear friend , what is the use of prudence? We can never be on our guard
against all possible dangers. However ," —— now, you must know I can
tolerate all men till they come to "however ;" —— for it is self-evident
that every universal rule must have its exceptions. But he is so exceedingly
accurate, that , if he only fancies he has said a word too precipitate,
or too general, or only half true, he never ceases to qualify , to
modify, and extenuate, till at last he appears to have said nothing
at all. Upon this occasion, Albert was deeply immersed in his subject
: I ceased to listen to him, and became lost in reverie. With a sudden
motion, I pointed the mouth of the pistol to my forehead , over the
right eye. "What do vou mean?" cried Albert, turning back the pistol.
"It is not loaded ," said I. "And even if not," he answered with impatience,
"what can you mean? I cannot cornprehend how a man can be so mad as to
shoot himself , and the bare idea of it shocks me."
"But why should any one ," said I, "in speaking of an action, venture
to pronounce it mad or wise , or good or bad ?
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